


Scuzz's Junkyard

by katsudonnnnnnnnnn



Category: Cars (Movies)
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, Anthro cars, Anthropomorphic, Car Sex, Casual Sex, Dirty Play, Dirty Sex, Don't Judge, Don't Like Don't Read, Farting, Filthy, Gay Sex, Gay scat, It's not a joke I actually wanted to write about this seriously, Lemon, Lemons, Living Machines, M/M, Mecha, Mechaphilia, Non-realistic, Pinto, Reality Bending, Scat, This isn't satire, Trabant, Trabi, Weird Characters - Freeform, unclean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 19:12:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19235374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsudonnnnnnnnnn/pseuds/katsudonnnnnnnnnn
Summary: While on a helicopter ride to their next race, Chick and Lightning have an argument and Chick throws Lightning's Piston Cup out the window. It lands in a junkyard, infamous for its inhabitant. Neither Chick nor Lightning wants to go in to get it and face the Trabant inside, so Doc decides to go. The Trabbi strikes an unusual deal with Doc for the trophy he found...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see what the original characters in this story look like here's their bios on DA:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/yaoi-duchess/art/Grace-Pinto-799888354  
> https://www.deviantart.com/yaoi-duchess/art/Scuzz-the-Trabant-799889122

The city of Gear Gardens had changed a lot since the last time Chick Hicks was there. When he was last there he was a lot younger, and he had just won his first two races at the racetrack there. Now, that same racetrack was virtually unrecognizable. Like the rest of the town, it had been built up a lot and was much fancier.  
And as Chick looked down at the city in the helicopter, he pointed out landmarks to Doc Hudson and Lightning McQueen, who were in the helicopter with him. They’d had to share a helicopter ride since Lightning didn’t have his own helicopter yet, and he was not too happy about having to ride with his rival. He faced away from Chick but still bitterly looked out the window, ready to land so he could get away from him. He looked down at his Piston Cup. One of Lightning’s racing superstitions was to carry the first Piston Cup he’d ever won to every race. It reminded him of how much hard work he’d put in and how much work Doc had done coaching him, and what great things they could- and would- achieve together.  
Doc was getting pretty sick of Chick too, who acted even more insufferable than Lightning did when he first got into Radiator Springs. If it was his helicopter, he’d have landed, kicked Chick out on the street and made him drive to the racetrack a long time ago.  
“Oh, and that gas station right there? That one promised me free gas for life if I win this next race. Hey! How about after the race I get you a few gallons? You know, as a consolation prize for LOSING!” Chick brayed, nudging an oblivious Lightning with his front tire. “Look, Lightning! Isn’t that a billboard… with me on it!! How many billboards are you on, Lightning? Not as many as me!”  
“Chick, I’m trying to ignore you but you’re not making it easy,” Lightning said.  
“Oh, the sound of oxygen being wasted,” Doc murmured.  
“You’re just a barrel of laughs…NOT! … Look at that, down there. That’s Lemon Lane,” Chick said. “That’s where you-“  
Lightning cut him off.  
“How about we stop and let you out? You know… so you can be with your own kind?” he shot back.  
Doc shot Lightning a look. He was hoping he knew to ignore him so that Chick would eventually stop talking, but Lightning wasn’t having any of that.  
Chick was furious.  
“You just shut up!” Chick yelled.  
“I’m just saying, expect to see a lot of back bumpers out there,” Lightning said. “You could always race some of those Yugos and Pacers down there, practice with some cars a little more your speed.”  
“Lightning, you’re not helping!” Doc reprimanded.  
Chick growled. “I’m not a lemon!!!” he squeaked in anger. He felt like he could explode- his huge ego was easily damaged, and though he could dish out snide comments all day long he couldn’t take them. He reached out for the thing closest to him, which happened to be Lightning’s Piston Cup.  
Realizing what he had grabbed made him remember the race in California, in which Lightning had pushed Strip Weathers across the finish line, and Chick won to very negative reception from the fans. The day that it could be argued his racing career started to take a nosedive. And for him, Lightning was to blame.  
He grunted angrily as he threw the trophy out the window.  
Both Lightning and Doc gasped.  
“No!” Lightning reached a tire out for the trophy, but it was too late. The trophy had already fallen far enough to where he couldn’t stop it. “Dammit, Chick!! Why’d you do that?!” He shoved Chick.  
“This has got to stop!” Doc scolded them. “You’ve been acting extremely childish, and Lightning, I know you’re better than that.”  
“But Doc! He threw m- … our trophy out the window! Out the window!!” Lightning cried.  
“I know, I just saw him do it. I’m not blind or deaf,” said Doc. “But that doesn’t mean you should start a shoving match! You’re both proud, grown up racecars, not children. And Chick… I don’t know how to tell you this other than you’re going to look back on all this one day, and wish you hadn’t been such a jerk.”  
“Hey! You take that back right now, grandpa!” Chick cried.  
Doc pretended to not hear him. “Now, when we land, we’re going to go to Lemon Lane and see if we can’t find where the Piston Cup landed. It looks like we were in the vicinity of the junkyard when Chick threw it, so it’s going to be around that area somewhere. And no more tomfoolery! Understood?”  
“Yes, Doc,” Lightning said.  
“Fine,” Chick said.  
When the helicopter landed, Chick went to leave. Lightning went in front of him to cut him off.  
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Lightning said. “You were the one who started this mess. You’re going with Doc and me to look for the Piston Cup.”  
“Get out of my way! I have to get ready for the race!” Chick cried.  
“No, you have to help us look for the trophy you threw first,” Lightning replied.  
Chick sighed overdramatically. “Fine,” he spat, and drove off with Doc and Lightning towards Lemon Lane.  
Lemon Lane, really a neighborhood rather than one street as the name might imply, was a rather depressing part of town, inhabited almost completely by lemon cars. An assortment of Reliant Robins, Pintos, Vegas and Azteks stared curiously at the three racecars from their porches and the rough road as they passed.  
“Okay, we just need to get to the junkyard, look around and leave,” Doc said.  
When they approached the junkyard, they spread out to look around for the trophy outside of it. They didn’t find it anywhere around after a good hour of searching, and deduced that the trophy must be inside the junkyard.  
“Okay, Chick, since you threw the trophy, you have to go in and get it,” Lightning said. “That’s only fair.”  
Chick wheezed, looking at the gates to the junkyard.  
“Are you crazy?!” he cried out, wheels turning in with fear and revulsion. “That’s where the creepy Trabant lives!”  
“The who?” Lightning asked.  
“There’s this creepy old Trabant that lives here, he’s been here since the early 60’s. He’s absolutely nuts. He’s always talking to himself and he never ever washes himself. Smells beyond awful- like old roadkill or something. And I’ve heard that he’s a cannibal! He’ll kill any unlucky car that comes near and consume his parts for himself!! I am not going in there to become that Trabi’s lunch! If you’re willing to die for that trophy, then by all means, you’re welcome to go get it!” Chick replied.  
“No, I’m not going in there! Not with that guy! And besides, if you hadn’t thrown my trophy…”  
“Well, if you hadn’t pushed Strip across the finish line-“  
“Oh, come on!” Lightning burst out. “You still haven’t let that go?!”  
“You killed my career, Lightning! I haven’t had a single fan at a race in years! Damn right I haven’t let it go!” Chick cried out.  
Doc honked his horn.  
“Jesus Chrysler, you two! Both of you, shut the hell up. If you’re not going to stop bickering, I’ll just go in and get it myself! I swear, you’ll wear my spark plugs out, we keep going like this. I’ll go in and get it, and while I’m there, I want you to both just not argue!” he said. He went to the gate.  
“Doc, no! Didn’t you hear Chick? There’s a crazy cannibal Trabi in there!” Lightning cried.  
“You’re a helpless elderly man! You’re Trabi bait!!” Chick yelled.  
Doc revved his engine in anger. He absolutely hated being called old, and especially hated it when younger cars said he was weak and frail. “For your information, I’m every bit as capable of power as you are. I’ve still got it, son. You just watch your mouth. I can certainly tangle with a little old Trabant if need be,” Doc growled, his voice close to a whisper. He pushed the gate open and drove into the junkyard.


	2. Chapter 2

Mounds of shapeless metal and trash piles filled the junkyard. Rats and cockroaches scurried around as the Hudson Hornet rolled slowly through the dusty junkyard premises.   
Doc kept a watchful eye out, searching for a glint of gold anywhere. He had gotten fooled by a wrapper once, but after diligent searching, he found it, sitting atop a mountain of trash.  
Doc tried to drive up the trash pile, but he sunk into the trash instead of going up it. He had trouble approaching it from a good angle to reach the trophy, but he had gotten lucky. When he tried to climb it from the other side, he sunk into the trash again, and this caused the whole pile to collapse, sending the trophy down towards him.  
He picked it up and turned around, suddenly aware of a grinding sound.   
His motor went faster as he remembered Chick’s words about the crazy Trabant. He rounded a heap of scrap metal and stopped in his tracks, seeing a grungy, oily, muddy mess in front of him. It was vaguely Trabant-shaped, but this mass seemed to be more dirt and grime than car! But if he looked carefully, he could see the very stained green and white, blotchy plastic surface underneath all the funk. The Trabant made a heavy breathing noise, and his engine sputtered loudly. He seemed to be muttering something to himself, but whether it was in German or English he couldn’t tell.  
Doc started to back up slowly, but unfortunately he ran over a crumpled tarp with a crunching.  
The Trabant whipped around to see what the sound was, with oil and lots of other grimy liquid dripping from his lips and a piece of unidentifiable plastic falling out of his mouth.   
Doc froze, the Piston Cup on his tire.  
The Trabant growled, accelerating towards him with a loud groan, shudder and fart. A plume of exhaust, a sickly brownish-green in color, billowed out of his tailpipe.   
Doc held his breath, as the Trabant came closer and his horrible stench became stronger. That smell made him sick to his gas tank. He reeked of old oil and corroded metal. Just smelling him made Doc want to hightail it out of there to take a long car wash, maybe two just to be sure. How does one tiny car get this dirty???  
Finally, he came close enough to Doc to where their front bumpers were just under a foot apart.   
He chuckled. “You’re stupid enough to really think you can just come in here and take that? My newest prized possession??” The Trabant’s voice was gravelly and raspy, with a strong German accent. He was missing quite a few of his teeth, and most of the ones that he did still have were discolored and beginning to corrode away.   
Doc started to back away.   
“Stop moving, damn you!” the Trabant yelled.  
Doc froze.  
“You can’t take that! It’s a gift to me from the heavens! It just fell out of the sky, and it must have come from the heavens! It’s not yours!” he said.  
“It’s not mine… I’m just… I’m getting it for the real owner, a famous racecar,” Doc said. “It didn’t come from the heavens, he dropped it out of the window of a helicopter.”  
The Trabi snorted, sending muddy oil leaking out from under his hood.   
“I know what I’ve seen!” he yelled. “It came from the heavens and there’s no way you can get it back! I must have done something good to deserve it! Aa-ha-ha-ha!! My efforts weren’t in vain after all!!” He took the Piston Cup from Doc and turned around, a big plume of exhaust billowing out of his tailpipe with a great deal of noise.   
Doc was dumbfounded. “But there’s got to be something I can do to get it back! I really need to get it back, he’d be devastated if I had to tell him it’s gone forever. Please, isn’t there something I can do, Mr…..”  
The Trabi didn’t turn back around, and instead stared at the Piston Cup.   
“I don’t have a name!” he quickly blurted out. “But everyone just calls me Scuzz. See, now I don’t need a name because I don’t go anywhere outside. That’s mostly cause I’m not allowed to, but at least here I won’t have everyone whining and trying to make me wash.”  
“Scuzz, please try to understand. That’s got a lot of sentimental value… here, how about I buy it from you? How much money do you want?”   
“Pah! Money! Money, money, money! That’s all you damn racecars care about,” Scuzz scoffed. “I don’t want your money! I just want this fancy golden cup here! It’s destiny that I have it, obviously! What do you even do with money?!”  
“I’ve tried being nice, Scuzz, but come on: I’m not interested in leaving without that. Now tell me what I have to do to get it back,” Doc said.  
A gurgling, groaning sound emanated from Scuzz’s undercarriage, and he let out a long, loud fart. He sighed with relief, and Doc turned away, coughing and fanning at the exhaust cloud with his tire.  
Scuzz turned back around slowly, his engine and components continuing to make curious sounds. A devilish smile appeared on his filthy face.   
“There is just one thing you can do… but I don’t know if you’ll be up to it,” he said.   
“What is it?? I’ll do anything to get it back, for Lightning,” Doc answered.  
“You’ll have to pass my test. How do you know you passed? You’ll know you passed if you didn’t cry or throw up during it!!” Scuzz laughed. “You’re not going to do it, I know you won’t!!”  
“What makes you so sure? I don’t even know what the test is!” Doc asked suspiciously.  
“Because your pride means more to you than your Lightning and his empty cup! I know that for sure!” The Trabant was laughing hard now, which periodically squeezed more exhaust out of his tailpipe.   
Doc drew closer to him. “Nothing means more to me than Lightning,” he growled. “I can handle whatever your lemon brain dreams up.”   
“Are you sure about that?” Scuzz challenged him.  
“Yes, I’m sure! Let’s do it already!” Doc said.  
The Trabant chuckled ominously, and came close enough to Doc to where their bumpers were almost touching. He was now laughing sadistically.   
Doc started to back up, fear washing over him. He had no clue what Scuzz was about to do to him, but it can’t be good.  
Scuzz kept driving closer to him, keeping extremely close to him, until Doc was cornered.  
Doc looked around for something to defend himself with, when suddenly- Scuzz licked Doc, from his front bumper up to the middle of his hood.  
Doc froze for a minute, surprised and utterly disgusted by this action.   
“Eww! Yeccchhh!” he exclaimed, and whipped around to leave the junkyard.  
Scuzz, while much slower than the Hornet, had the advantage of knowing his way around the junkyard and where the ramps and things were, which led to Doc being surprised by the Trabi sitting in front of the now closed gates, waiting for him.   
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked. Scuzz had locked the gates, leaving Doc trapped here with him.  
Doc started to shake a little bit. “You’re- you’re crazy!” he cried out.   
“Ha!! That’s all relative, don’t you think???” howled Scuzz. “You can’t leave now! You already said you’d do my little test, didn’t you? It’s too late to back out now.”  
Doc looked past the fence. He couldn’t see Lightning and Chick from here, but he still called out to them. “Lightning!! Chick! Someone, please help! I’ve been… I’ve been captured by a murderer Trabbi!!” As he yelled this out, he whipped away from Scuzz.   
“By a what now?!” Scuzz echoed angrily, puttering over to him just as fast as he could. “You think I’m a murderer?? I never said that the test was going to be killing you! Besides, look around you! There’s totaled cars everywhere, and too many spare parts to go through. I don’t want another one!”  
“Hold on!” Doc cried out. “What’s this about spare parts?”  
Scuzz kept talking. “I mean, I have to go through all the totaled cars that come in and look for good parts on them! Nobody else on Lemon Lane knows how to change out parts, and I taught myself how to do it while I was here. But no!! Nobody even comes in here even when they’re sick now because in the nice part of town they have a whole fancy-ass hospital even though it costs a lot of money!”  
That changed quite a lot for Doc- Chick had said there was a rumor about Scuzz being a cannibal, when in fact he was the closest thing to a doctor on Lemon Lane, despite him having no experience, being incredibly unhygenic and his practice of transplanting parts from totaled cars being a bit morbid if anything.   
He stopped ranting and turned back to Doc. “Anyway, let’s do that test! I’m not going to let you go until you do it. … I’m really not used to having other cars here,” he said, getting closer to Doc once more, touching one of his tires to Doc’s. “Especially not hot ones like you. Oh, baby.” A little watery oil dripped down the side of his mouth as he started drooling.  
“You don’t mean…!!” Doc exclaimed. He finally thought he knew what the test was, and just acknowledging this threatened to turn his gas tank. Scuzz wanted to make Doc have sex with him for the Piston Cup, and Doc wasn’t exactly excited about sticking any part of his body anywhere near this disgusting Trabbi. But Doc had realized also that there was more to him than met the eye. Scuzz could have killed him by now, but he didn’t. And he acted as a sort of surgeon for the most dilapidated area of Gear Gardens, where nobody could have gone to actual medical school. He didn’t even charge money, because he didn’t believe in it. And that fact made him a little less turned off by his unusual mannerisms and lack of cleanliness. After all, Scuzz could have been both filthy and a jerk.   
Doc tensed up, but he waited for Scuzz to make his next move, whatever that would be.   
Scuzz belched and licked his lips. “Now come here,” he said, and kissed Doc passionately. Scuzz was a predictably sloppy kisser, managing to get not only spit but also oil and whatever else was on and in his mouth onto Doc’s bumper. But did he ever make up for that in how well he used his tongue! He poked it all over the inside of Doc’s mouth slowly and deliberately.   
By the time Scuzz broke their kiss, the Hornet was left somewhat aroused and out of breath.  
His mouth tasted awful but Doc was extremely happy with how that kiss had gone. To him, Scuzz kissed like an angel. An angel with the worst breath in the history of the world, yes, but still an angel nonetheless.   
Scuzz laughed a little, seeing Doc’s slightly flustered expression. “I didn’t think you’d actually like it, judging from how scared you were earlier,” he said. “Care for some more?”   
“… please,” Doc begged.  
Scuzz went in for another kiss, and this time Doc kissed him back, flicking his tongue against Scuzz’s. The taste of the oil and grime in Scuzz’s mouth didn’t bother Doc nearly as much this time. In fact it sort of tasted somewhere between spicy and sour, with just a hint of sweetness, if he concentrated on it.   
“Scuzz, I can’t believe I’m saying this… but damn, you sure can kiss,” Doc sighed after he had pulled away from him sometime later.  
“The feeling’s mutual,” said Scuzz with a laugh. A loud groaning and shuddering came from underneath him. “Guess it’s about time for the second part of your test! See how you can do with all this!”  
The second part? Doc had thought that was it, that they’d just make out a while and Scuzz would send him on his way. Making out with him, he could do. That wasn’t so bad. But what was he about to do? This might not be as welcome…  
Scuzz turned around, much slower than before this time. He groaned as he did so, his gas tank and other components loudly gurgling. Doc had never heard a car make that noise before, and he’s taken care of plenty of lemons that made weird noises. He became increasingly alarmed as Scuzz backed up right towards him, his back bumper almost on top of his hood, the noises even louder from here. He lifted himself up on his back tires a little, putting his front half down lower.   
“Ohhhh,” he moaned. “I’ve been holding this in for a while now. Hm… think you’re ready back there? This is going to get pretty bad, or good, depending on how you look at it.”  
“Uh…” was all Doc said in response, staring at the Trabi’s back bumper and the corroded plastic surrounding it.   
“I’ll take that as a yes,” said Scuzz. He grunted and farted even more exhaust than his last fart. It was stronger, too, and caught Doc off-guard. That wasn’t what he was expecting Scuzz to do at all- he was expecting him to dance on him or something, not fart in his face! The smell threatened to make him gag, but he didn’t. And it made him feel…something weird that he couldn’t quite place.  
“What was all that about?! Wow, that’s strong…” Doc asked.  
“You mean you don’t like farts?” The Trabi seemed genuinely surprised by this notion. That someone else didn’t find the idea of having hot, smelly exhaust blown into their hood as arousing as Scuzz did just baffled him. “Well… if you didn’t want that you should have lost your trophy in someone else’s junkyard! Now get yourself comfy… I’ve only barely begun. There’s so, so, SO much more where that came from.” His components gurgled and groaned loudly, illustrating the fact that Scuzz still had plenty more farts left to go.  
Scuzz wiggled his trunk, lifted his back half up again and let out a series of very long, loud and potent farts. With each one he shuddered and sighed with pleasure, and the knowledge that Doc was right behind him soaking it all in turned him on greatly.   
All this stinky air eventually made Doc’s eyes water, and he had actually gagged once, but nothing came of it.  
It wasn’t too long before Doc realized that it seemed he was getting used to the smell. And that weird feeling he’d been getting? It was because it turned out he actually liked getting farted on. Though the smell had made him gag, it was a good kind of bad smell. Just admitting this to himself made him feel a little embarrassed and stupid, but somehow it just made sense to him and him alone.   
Scuzz continued to fart on Doc and had begun to get a little sassy with it, almost. He overexaggerated his pushes and turned his sighs of pleasure into moans. This had successfully turned Doc on completely, and he was really getting into it.  
“Oh baby!” Scuzz finally exclaimed, as his gas tank loudly rumbled and shuddered, violently enough to make the rest of his chassis shake a little bit too. By this time the air around them was absolutely filled with brownish-green, smelly smog. “This one feels really big! Ah, I can’t wait to get it out… it’s going to be so loud…”  
“I’m ready,” Doc chuckled, licking his lips. “It’s going to be so noxious, I just know it.”  
Scuzz grunted dramatically, and instead of letting out a huge, loud fart, it came out as a low, quiet sputter, not unlike the same sound his engine made.   
Both Scuzz and Doc were confused by this. Scuzz figured maybe he hadn’t pushed hard enough to get it out. He pushed again, and this time, a semi-congealed glob of oil, intermixed with shiny trash particles, shot out of his tailpipe with a squelching sound and landed in the middle of Doc’s hood.  
If Doc and Scuzz had been surprised earlier, it was nothing compared to how much this event surprised them. Doc didn’t know what exactly to make of this experience- being farted on was one thing, since it’s just air. But poop? That’s something completely different! And this wasn’t like it was just normal oil/poop like when most other cars do it. Instead of being a liquid, Scuzz’s was almost gelatinous, and contained little bits of trash that didn’t break down- that couldn’t mean anything good, in regards to how his fuel system worked. Actually, a normal car shouldn’t be able to do most of the things that Scuzz did. But in a way, Doc was glad he was able to do these things.   
Scuzz at first was caught off-guard by sharting, but he instead decided to work with this.   
“Don’t think that this is going to get you out of this, boy…” Scuzz groaned. “This is actually the next part of the test.”  
“Wait- what do you mean it’s the next part??” Doc asked frantically. “Tell me!”  
Scuzz only laughed as he pulled around to Doc’s back half. He sat behind Doc for a moment, and then drove up his trunk to sit on his roof.  
“Ugh-oof!” Doc exclaimed at the sudden pressure.   
“Oh, you’ll get used to it,” Scuzz said dismissively. “And you’ll get used to this too…” With a squishing and grunting, he pushed out some filthy oil onto Doc’s roof. It slowly flowed down his side.  
Doc shuddered from the feeling. He didn’t know what to think about it, but the smell made him even more sick than before. Nobody’s oil smells like THAT!   
“I know you like that, you dirty boy, you…” Scuzz chuckled, squeezing more oil out, this time down his front onto his hood. Doc shut his eyes tight against the dirty flow.   
“Mmm, I didn’t think it would be so much!” Scuzz laughed. He kept pooping more onto Doc’s body, with loud farts and gurgles. Once he’d done it on all four sides of him, Scuzz got off of Doc and backed right up to his side. He then let out a huge onslaught of oil, spraying onto his side violently. The relief from pooping so much made Scuzz moan.   
Doc at first cringed, but soon the feeling of Scuzz’s poop spraying onto him felt… almost relaxing. The feeling wasn’t unlike having a car wash with wax but it made him dirtier instead of clean, and this “wax” came from within a car that was quite obviously interested in doing stuff with him. He had very unusual ways of showing his affection, such as farting on him and using him for a junk oil pan, but these things clearly turned him on a lot, and he was doing this hoping Doc found it as hot as he did. Somehow just thinking about Scuzz’s intention made him turned on by the feeling of the oil and partially decomposed garbage on his metal.   
The flow of oil eventually stopped, leaving the Trabant’s back tires partially in the oil that had flowed off of the Hornet’s side.  
“Aahhh… mmmm,” Scuzz sighed. “Oh, fuck, that felt so good. And you liked it just as much as I did, didn’t you?” He smeared a glob of oil across Doc’s window.  
“I’m not gonna lie, that was way better than I thought it would be,” he said. “But damn, this stinks. How does your oil smell so strong?! I’ve never smelled anything that bad before!”   
Scuzz laughed. “Look around you! All you see is trash! Old parts, lots of oil, wrappers, plastic! Chaos happens when I go to the gas station to get a drink! Oh, how they whined!! So I adapted. Now I just eat trash. Ohhhh, how my gas tank ached at first! It was awful, and my oil became sludgy instead of thin! But I like the sludgy feeling better. It feels sooooo good on my wheels and I like to get it all in a mound and settle down into it- aah, I love it! And it smells so good! Mmm, I think the smell of my own oil is probably one of my favorite smells. My exhaust is really good too, I love smelling it all day long. It’s a good thing I’m blasting it out just about all day long! Isn’t it yours too?” The way Scuzz flashed his gap-filled grin seemed to indicate that, just like with the oil and farting, he had assumed that all cars loved bad smells like he did.   
“I’m not used to smelling this, I can tell you that much,” Doc said.   
“Well, you can get used to it! I know that soon you’ll see just how wonderful it smells. Mmm, it makes me hungry!” Scuzz found a nearby old CRT TV, and bit into it with a loud crunch and glass breaking. He crunched the casing and electrical components until it was gone, and belched loudly after he ate the TV. He drove back to Doc’s side, and dropped himself down into his own sludgy oil pile. He leaned over far enough into it that Doc thought he’d roll over and get stuck, but righted himself at the last minute, and did the same to the other side, adding yet another layer of grime onto his paint.   
“It’s so good,” Scuzz sighed. “Now, I just want to do one thing before the last part of our test.  
Scuzz backed up to Doc’s front again, lifting his trunk up.  
“More exhaust?” Doc guessed.  
“Of course not! What are you, crazy?” Scuzz guffawed. “No! I want you to lick the gunk out of my exhaust pipe. Probably a lot of stuff up in there, don’t want anything getting clogged for you there.”  
Doc definitely balked at this. He’d been taught his whole life that eating oil that had been in another car’s system was a huge no-no, and that it could mess up his own system. But at the same time… he wasn’t eating a lot of it, he was just giving him a quick cleaning. For what though? Scuzz didn’t seem to have desire for cleaning anything else.   
With a sigh, Doc touched the tip of his tongue to the end of Scuzz’s exhaust pipe. Scuzz shuddered with pleasure from having the sensual area touched.   
Predictably, it tasted very bitter and weird to Doc, but honestly it wasn’t a bad kind of weird. If anything it kind of reminded him of Fillmore’s flavored organic fuel- it didn’t taste anything like how it was supposed to taste but it was still okay. Except, of course, for the trash bits. He licked the entirety of the outside of his pipe, and as much of the inside as he could get to.   
Scuzz moaned loudly, his wheels turning in. “Ohhh, baby, you could do this to me all day!!” he screamed in euphoria.   
“Ok, I think I got everything,” Doc said.   
“Great. Now you’re going to have to move,” said Scuzz. “The last thing you’ve got to do is finish off here… nothing too bad.”  
“What do you mean?” Doc asked.  
“I mean, you’re going to get on top of my trunk and slam, slam, slam into me like a battering ram!! And there’s nothing in my exhaust pipe now so that’ll leave you more room! Mmmm, it makes me sooooo hard just imagining it! I don’t know what you’re working with but I know just from looking at you it’s big,” Scuzz sang.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, did you even hear me?!” Scuzz asked, nudging Doc with his tire. “Are we going to fuck or not??”  
Doc, still halfway in a trance, looked at Scuzz incredulously.   
“You’re not getting anything unless you stretch my tailpipe all out. Ok?” Scuzz pouted a little bit, very horny and wanting to have Doc ride him.  
He’d enjoyed everything so far, but actually penetrating him? Outside? In a junkyard? Doc wasn’t so sure he’d be up to the challenge. And he’d have to rub all of his undercarriage on Scuzz’s filthy body, as well as putting part of his body into him.   
“Uh… maybe not,” Doc said.   
“Why not?!” Scuzz cried out. “You said you’d do anything I thought of!”  
“I didn’t think you’d ask me to have sex with you! It’s just… you’re so dirty all over, I don’t know if I can do it. I mean… I don’t know about getting any part of my body somewhere that stinks so badly.” Doc replied.   
Scuzz laughed, chuckling at first but then uproariously laughing, which squeezed a little exhaust out of him. He snorted and sighed, still grinning.   
“But… I can’t believe you just said that! You’ve already done everything you said you didn’t want to just now!”  
“What do you mean? We didn’t have sex!” Doc said.  
“No, but you said I’m too dirty. Hate to break it to you, but you’re covered in shit right now. You’re cleaner than me, of course, but this is about as dirty as you’re going to get, given how clean you were when you first showed up. And putting something of yours in me? You just licked my exhaust pipe, and last time I checked your tongue was attached to you!! You don’t have an excuse anymore!” Scuzz laughed.   
Doc tried to object, and then realized he was right. There was no difference between what he was about to do and what he already did. Whether he was penetrating Scuzz with his tongue or his dick, didn’t matter much, really. Except that the latter was, of course, bigger and felt different.   
Doc slowly smiled. He was grateful for Scuzz introducing him to the world of filthy play, and found that he liked it.   
“Look back here,” he said.   
Scuzz turned around.  
Doc drove through Scuzz’s pile of sludgy oil and settled down into it, smearing it all over his undercarriage, flirtatiously smiling the whole time.  
Scuzz huffed in arousal.   
Doc then released his dick and let it unfold from the rest of his undercarriage to its full size.   
Seeing the long, girthy rod got Scuzz absolutely wild. He wasn’t sure it would fit but he sure would try to take it up there.   
“What’re we doing just waiting around?” Scuzz wheezed. “Come on, fill me with your sticky goo! And get it everywhere!!!”  
“If you’re so eager, well then, why would I keep you waiting?” Doc asked. He got behind Scuzz and lifted his front up so he was sort of leaning onto the Trabi’s roof, adjusting his position to find his tailpipe.   
“Yes, yes!!” he gasped, just being turned on from the feeling of their bumpers grinding together.  
Doc found the orifice and gently stuck his length into it part of the way.   
Scuzz moaned, his eyes fluttering closed. His tires turned inwards again and he lifted his back half up higher to guide it further in.  
Doc bit his lip and then moaned as he pushed it further in until he couldn’t fit his dick in any further.   
Scuzz gasped with euphoria. “Don’t… nnnnghhh, don’t go so slow,” he begged him.   
“Well, if you insist…” Doc started to draw his length in and out of Scuzz’s tailpipe rapidly, albeit having some trouble staying up because of the oil on Scuzz’s already slippery plastic body making it hard for him to grip him with his tires.   
Scuzz howled and squealed, Doc’s moans joining the noises they made and mixing with the sounds of metal scraping and banging against plastic.   
Doc wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to hold on, it felt so good he just felt like he-  
“Nngh, I’m gonna.. gonna… aaaahhh!” Scuzz screamed, white fluid flowing out onto the ground.  
He had cummed before Doc did, but he was determined to fill him up with his seed. He thrusted into him as fast as he could, catching Scuzz off-guard and making Doc’s suspension ache. Luckily it didn’t take too much of this for him to finish, enough to where it leaked out and made them both stickier and messier than before.   
He pulled out and retracted his dick back up, and lowered himself to the ground, panting.  
“Ohhh, I haven’t done anything like this for years, Scuzz,” he sighed. “You were actually better than I remember any of my previous ones being.”  
“I wish I could do this all the time,” Scuzz said. “Nobody else would even come in and talk to me, let alone get messy with me and absolutely destroy my ass like you just did. Thanks. For… for giving me a chance.”  
Doc just smiled.   
“Oh wait!” Scuzz gasped. “I almost forgot, just hang on!” He puttered away with a fart, and then returned with the Piston cup on his very dirty tire.   
“Here you go. As promised, here’s the trophy back. Though really, I think you deserve way more than just a silly trophy for all this. I promised… I promised you you could leave after we were done… but I don’t want you to leave,” he said.  
Doc took the trophy from him, and looked back up at Scuzz. “I guess I passed,” he said.  
Scuzz flashed a grin. “Not only did you pass, but you passed by more than I thought was possible,” he said, and unlocked the gate. “You’re… you’re free to go, I guess. Goodbye.” He quickly kissed him, and then puttered off to the other end of the junkyard.   
Doc watched Scuzz disappear out of sight, and then rolled slowly down the pathway back to Lemon Lane.


	4. Chapter 4

“He’s dead, Lightning! I’m telling you, that damned Trabbi ate him!” Chick hollered.  
“No way! Doc wouldn’t go down without a fight, I know for sure!” Lightning argued.  
The familiar sound of an old engine became apparent to both of them.  
“See? He’s not dead after all, Chick!”  
The two racecars went to go greet Doc.  
“Doc! There you- oh my God! What is that awful smell?!” Lightning backed away from Doc even though he had his beloved Piston Cup in tire.  
“What happened to you, old man?” Chick asked, coughing. “How did you get so dirty?? And what’s with all the oil?”  
Doc put the trophy down in front of Lightning. “I got it back finally,” he said. “And I survived.”  
Lightning gingerly poked at it. “It’s… uh, it’s covered in sludgy oil…” he said, shaking the oil off of his tire.   
“It’s still the Piston Cup!” Doc cried out.  
“Come on, let’s get you washed off…” said Lightning. “And the trophy too.”   
Doc had to be showered not just once but twice to get all the oil and smell off, though Chick insisted that Doc still stunk. As for the Piston Cup, it was smaller and much easier for Lightning to clean, and soon looked- and smelled- good as new.   
Thanks to Doc’s encounter they had almost missed the deadline for registering for the race, and just barely made it in.   
The next day was busy, filled with preparations for the race to take place later that night. It felt like an eternity before Lightning was finally out on the track, and the race began!  
Lightning ignored Chick’s remarks behind him and cut through an opening in the crowd of cars ahead of him, accelerating faster and faster through the straightaway.  
It had only been a few laps in, Lightning close to taking the lead, when he heard something unusual on his mic- something besides Doc’s voice and the other members of his crew chatting. It sounded like… shouting in the background?  
“Doc? What’s going on back there??” he asked. He had fallen a few places behind, trying to see what was going on. He couldn’t see the pits from where he was at, unfortunately.  
“I don’t know,” he answered. “It doesn’t sound good, whatever it is.” From where Doc was the shouting was louder, and he could tell some kind of scuffle was happening.  
Suddenly the doors burst open, and several cars sped through the doors to the pit area.   
“Everyone run!” one yelled as he sped by.   
“Hey! What’s the meaning of all this?” Doc asked him.  
“You’re not supposed to be here!” reprimanded another racer’s crew chief.   
“Gross crazy lemon on the loose!” another car wailed.  
Doc had a crazy thought as soon as she said that. Could it be… no, Scuzz himself said that he didn’t leave the junkyard.  
It wasn’t long before the other cars had passed through the pits, and the doors opened again.  
“I wanna see the Hudson Hornet!!” a gravelly German-accented voice sang out. “Where is he??”  
“Oh no,” Doc sighed.  
“What’s going on back there??” Lightning asked, worried from hearing all the ruckus going on. “Is something wrong? I’m going to pull into the pits, just give me a second!!”


	5. Chapter 5

Scuzz ignored the security trucks behind him- a far ways behind him, kept at bay by his stench and pungent exhaust- and puttered around the pits.   
“Where’s my messy Hornet babe??” he asked. “Where are y-“   
He stopped upon seeing Doc, and went just as fast to him as his two cylinders could carry him.  
“It’s you! It’s my Hornet friend!” he cried out.  
By this point the security trucks, coughing and some retching, had pushed the doors open.  
“Stop! This is just maddening! You stink too badly to get close enough to to stop! And you’re getting oil and who knows what everywhere! That’s nasty! Really damned nasty!” one cried out.  
Doc looked down from his raised perch at Scuzz, who puttered into view.  
The other members of Lightning’s team expressed disgust and tried to get away from him.   
“What are you doing here??” Doc asked.  
Lightning came roaring into the pits.  
“Doc! Doc, are you all right?” He froze upon seeing the dirty Trabbi.  
“You leave Doc alo-“ Scuzz, who had had his back turned to Lightning, let out a fart, and Lightning gagged from the smell, turning away.  
“Leave Doc alooooo- a- leave him alone!” He struggled to not get sick to his gas tank from the thick, foul exhaust in his face and the smell emanating from the Trabant.   
“Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be back here!” Doc said, getting down off the perch.  
Scuzz licked the side of Doc’s hood. “Mm, I missed that!”  
“He’s tasting Doc!” Ramone cried out.  
“Not cool, man! So not cool!!” Fillmore said, hiding behind Sarge despite being bigger than he was.  
Lightning revved his engine at Scuzz in anger. “Get away from him, now! I will ram you and knock you to the other side of the pits!”   
“Lightning, let me take care of this,” Doc said. “Why did you come here, Scuzz?”  
“I’m tired of being alone! Please, come back with me! I wanna get messy again! Maybe you could put your oil on me!! Yes please!” Scuzz turned around, lifting his trunk up.  
“No!” Doc cried out. “Are you out of your mind? We’re in public!! Don’t do that here, please!”   
“Sir, would you please leave and stop antagonizing Doc Hudson? I’d push you out of here myself but frankly, I don’t want to touch you.” The security truck talked with a nasally voice, trying not to smell the foul miasma Scuzz had brought back here.   
“I’m not going to leave without Doc!” Scuzz said.  
“We’re in the middle of a race here!” Lightning cried out.  
“I’m horny, dammit!” Scuzz spat. “And I don’t know why we can’t do it here!”  
“Because I’m busy and everyone is staring!” Doc said.   
“Can we make out?” Scuzz asked. He flicked his tongue out at Doc seductively.  
Lightning cringed.  
“Scuzz, please, this really isn’t the time,” Doc begged. “Please, just go wait for me outside the pits.”  
“He’s way out of your league anyway, Trabi!” someone in the distance hollered.  
“Mind your own business!” Doc and Scuzz both snapped.  
Suddenly the doors to the pits swung open again.  
“Not again!” one of the security trucks groaned.  
“Uncle Scuzz? Where did you go…?” a soft female voice asked. “Sir? Did you see a really dirty Trabant back here?”  
“What now?” Lightning groaned.  
Doc looked around Scuzz, who was busy caressing the Hornet’s front bumper with his tires, trying to see who had just entered.  
A mauve Pinto rolled towards them slowly, looking around.  
“Hey! You’re not supposed to be here!” a security truck reprimanded. “Unlike with that Trabi we can block you in.”  
“I’m looking for my uncle,” she said. “He’s a green Trabant, lots of mud and oil on him…”  
“Fine, go get him, but once you find him, I want both of you to leave! And be quick, he’s gotten his funk all over half of the pits!” The security truck waved her off.  
She saw him and sped towards Scuzz and Doc as fast as she could.  
“Uncle Scuzz!! There you are!” she cried out, lurching to a sudden stop.  
Scuzz suddenly turned around, farting in Doc’s face- on accident for once.   
“Grace!” he cried out, shocked. “Grace, no! What are you doing here?? You came here all by yourself! You could get hurt!”  
The Pinto rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Uncle Mattias- I mean, Scuzz. Nothing happened. But we really need to go. Security told me to get you and then leave quickly.”  
“It’s dangerous here, Grace! Something could hit you!” He nuzzled her, glaring at the other cars, ignoring the fact that she had just called him by his real name in front of a crowd. “Don’t touch my niece!”  
“I… I don’t think anybody wanted to hurt me, Uncle Scuzz…” Grace said, pulling forward a little to Doc. “I saw you with my uncle. It’s good to see that he’s making friends. He’s… well, he’s a little overprotective of me because he thinks I’m fragile… but more because I was the only car that gave him a chance. Until you came along. Thanks, I think he’ll be a lot happier now.”  
Scuzz sat behind Grace, watching their surroundings like a hawk to make sure nothing bumped her rear.   
She sighed heavily. “Again? Uncle Scuzz, I’m going to back up now, get out of the way,” she groaned.  
The Trabi moved with a loud fart.  
“How elegant,” she laughed. “Let’s go home.”  
“Okay…” Scuzz looked around worriedly. “I don’t trust a lot of these racecars though around you… or me, really. The way folks around here drive, they seem to think they’ve got the whole road to themselves. Let me go behind you, ok?”  
“If it’ll make you feel better, okay,” said Grace. She sped off.  
“No! Not so fast, Grace!” Scuzz cried out.  
“What?” She lurched to a stop and knocked over a tire rack.  
Scuzz screamed and went over to her as fast as he could, despite all the tires falling already by the time he got there.  
“Did they hit your rear end???” he asked, inspecting her for bumps.  
“No! Nothing happened! I knocked over the tires, I swear that’s all that happened!! I’m just fine, Uncle Scuzz! Calm down! Can we please go now?” Grace started to get a little annoyed with her overprotective uncle.  
“Grace… you know I just want to keep you safe. You really need to be more careful, dear,” he said.  
She nudged him with her tire, laughing, and they slowly went towards the gates, much to the security staff’s relief. They immediately sent the clean-up crew to start cleaning the pits.  
As they left, Doc smiled and looked down at Lightning. “Remind you of anyone, son?”  
Lightning pouted. “I’m not that impatient!” he said.  
Doc laughed. “You used to be though! Boy, you sure used to be. Would have given her a run for her money.”  
“And you’re not that overprotective,” Lightning pointed out.  
Doc thought about it. “I would have been if you were a Pinto like Grace, definitely. I still get nervous during the races, terrified that there’ll be a huge crash,” he said. “Especially if you get close to Chick, he’s been known to be quite reckless before.”  
“Yeah… I guess they do kinda remind me of us, just a little.” Lightning admitted.   
Lightning looked out the doors at the two lemons and the patrons that fled in horror from the stinky Trabant and Pinto that could explode if hit.   
“Everyone out there sure isn’t reacting well to them,” he observed.  
Doc joined him at the window, frowning. “Go back to the track,” he ordered Lightning and went out the gates.  
He caught up to Scuzz and Grace. At around this time, the announcers had explained to the fans how all the commotion in the pits involving a very dirty Trabant delayed this part of the race, but that it looked like things were about to get going again.   
“I knew you wouldn’t want to leave me yet! Give me a kiss maybe?” Scuzz asked.  
“How would you guys like to watch the rest of the race from the pits? We have a nice little garage bay for you to stay in. Nothing dangerous in there. Of course, you will have to move once the race is over seeing as that’s actually meant for Lightning.”  
Grace’s eyes lit up. “You mean it? Wow! That sounds awesome! Can we?”  
“Of course, I’ll be there keeping you company too…” Doc said, smirking at Scuzz.  
Scuzz smiled back. “Perfect.”  
So they watched the rest of the race, from the best seat in the house, Scuzz nuzzling Doc throughout the entire thing. Doc did get messy from this but he didn’t mind it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this! I'm really glad that you made it this far. I post art of not only Grace and Scuzz, but also other OCs on my DeviantArt account at yaoi-duchess so if you feel like it check it out!


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